Here we are..Again?

Hey guys.
So going into my freshman year in college, I had this blog. I started it because it was the first Summer that was not going to end with me heading back to a place where I had none: High School. I knew that I was shedding old skin, snake that I am, and slithering towards a new horizon.
I arrived at college. My world was literally turned upside-down, which isn't difficult to do to an extremely sheltered Christian. Random things would stick out to me, like the face that I could watch TV all day if I wanted to without living with the fear that my mother would walk in the room. Nothing was out of my reach, no adventure too crazy. These past 4 years have been such a whirlwind it is difficult to try and type words that could begin to resemble them. Most of you who would even take the time to read this have probably have been a witness as your windows in my time line opened and closed.
I think, as I sit and ponder my journey thus far, that is the saddest thing for me. You see, when you read a play, you have this wonderful omniscient ability to tell when a character will enter into a scene, and when they will leave it. You know, enter stage left, exit stage right. You have it in your hands. You know where every character is and where they are going. As the reader, you know when a character exits for the last time.
Well consider college to be a play, me the main character, and the plot is a revolving door of characters entering stage left, changing my life, and then exiting right without a glance back.
You know those scary movies? When even the people in the audience scream out "RUN BITCH! HE'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU!!" ...............I feel like that's my life and I'm Helen Keller, with egg all over my face, trying to spell out something that makes sense.
So here I am. Four years later, my parents are pulling out what hair they have left but I am tenacious as hell, it feels like my heart has broken more times than it has had a chance to beat, a semester away from a degree..and I don't know if I have the will in me to do it.
I'm tired of having best friends for 2 weeks.I'm tired of being so easy to leave. I'm tired of insecure, two-faced, cowards...But Mostly, I'm tired of being this person. I'm not a victim anymore and I need to stop acting as such. I have been through enough to where life's instances should bounce off me. They don't, but they don't leave such a crater anymore. One step at a time, take things day by day. I have made such strides this summer and I get exited when I think about the progress I have already made. And I can't forget it.

My goal: Happiness. I was really close recently, but I feel as though the air is changing, and I just might have another chance.

So here we go with the blog again. Time to record my adventures, and there will be many, as I start this last semester of college, living in the same dorm I did my freshman year. My first night of college I sat outside on a bench and looked around. I looked at all of the empty space and wondered how many future memories it might hold for me. Looking back now, it's quite the experience to fill in the blanks with some tears, but always a smile.